i think

Today I thought.

I thought a whole bunch.

About all sorts of different things.

How blessed I am, how much I take for granted. How much I want to fast forward life but make it freeze right where it is forever all at the same time. Which i think is a good sign.

I thought a lot about who I want to be. How I want to change. And that knowing how it is you want to change is sometimes the biggest part of the change.

For example, I want to change my handwriting...its ugly. I don't like it. But i want to like it. I want to look at it and think "that is totally mine" that sounds pretty dumb i know, but ya.

I want my own distinct style . . . other than the usual soccer shorts and t shirt.

I want to dance. I really like to dance.

I want to be creative. Oh my today I want to be creative SO bad. I like artsy. I like weird. I like different. But not super different, balance. ME.

I want to be super healthy, and learn how to make desserts that are made of more healthy things even though no one would ever know.

I want to take more pictures. SO bad. I wish i took awesome ones that really say something.

I want to grow.

Do you ever just think people are magical? That sounds weird i know, but i love that word. Like really though there are just those people. Sometimes I wonder how I become one of those people, cause I want to be one of those people. But then I realize well duh Ell no one who is magical thinks to themselves "I am just full of magic". Well everyone is full of it ... it just comes out at special times. And sometimes you have to really be looking.

I like it when people really know me. I like that a lot. Which sometimes is a shame because I kind of think its hard/takes a while to really know me. Maybe thats part of what I want..to show it more. Not just what people assume I am, or expect me to be. Cause i'm a lot more than that, i'm so different than that. But i love it when people know the real me. And ya i'll admit it...i like it when they tell me how they see me haha too yellow I know.

I like real conversations...and half the time i just want to jump into them with people. Kind of ask the hard questions i guess haha.

You know those people who you just look at them, or are around them for two seconds and think "I want to be their friend" ... i wanna know what my relationship was like with them in the pre-existence. Who knows, maybe we were buds!

I think that without even realizing sometimes I am a deep thinker ... and I just assume that everyone around me isn't...but i'm pretty sure i'm wrong. I wish they would just tell me what they're thinking. Maybe they wish that about me...hmm

I think that when it really comes down to it, life is good, sometimes it's just a big bunch of mysteries and I don't like that - but most of the time i think that is great because anything can

happen.

& I can become anything that

I think I can.

THAT is the most exciting thing of all